I went to both Greenwood’s and South Warren’s graduations today to see kids graduate that I’ve known since they were born.  It made me feel somewhat old, but mostly nostalgic and contemplative.  It got me to thinking about how much has changed in four years since I graduated.

In a way, it seems like just yesterday, but then again, it feels like a lifetime ago.  So much has changed in my life.  So much of me has changed.  I did not want to graduate high school…whatsoever.  Every year that I played Pomp & Circumstance with the band was another reminder that my turn to graduate was drawing near, and I absolutely dreaded it.  I absolutely loved band in high school, and it was a very formative time and activity in my life.  However, outside of band, high school (looking back) was pretty rough for me, and the months leading up to graduation and the following summer was the worst.  It’s honestly close to, if not the lowest I’ve ever been.  I doubted and questioned a lot of things in my life.  I doubted and questioned myself.  The first couple months of college were a struggle as well…and lonely.  I spent a lot of time in the practice room because I didn’t know anyone and didn’t have time to go home between classes.  I was scared, shy, and unsure of myself.  I didn’t think I could ever have as much fun in college as I did in high school with my friends.

Now, after graduating college four years later, I realize how naive I was to think that high school was the end of my fun.  I didn’t even know what fun was when I was in high school!!!!  I didn’t know what real friends were either.  If I had only known how much fun I would have in college and all the incredible people I’d meet, I would have been nothing but excited to graduate.  There’s no way I could have known though, and for that I am ironically grateful.  It made me truly appreciate high school while I was there.  Don’t get me wrong, I loved high school…band.  Looking back, everything else just wasn’t that great.  And I know that now because of how awesome college has been.

I’ve been looking for the words to describe my college experience for some time now, and the more I think about it, the more lost I get.  Words simply cannot describe it.  All I can say is wow.  I have truly had the time of my life in college and learned so much.  I’ve made memories and friends that will last a lifetime.  REAL friends.  The friends I’ve always wanted, but never had (especially not in high school).  I’ve finally found a place where I belong.  I’ve found my passion.  Don’t get me wrong, college was HARD, especially trying to graduate in four years.  I’ve never worked harder in my life, but I’ve never had more fun either.  In the end, college wasn’t all about the diploma, it was about all the people met and memories made in the growth process of getting it.  It was about making friends, finding mentors, going for and achieving my goals and dreams, taking challenges head on, and growing into the person I always aspired to, but never thought I could be.  I’ve accomplished a lot in college - honestly, more than I ever thought I could - and I have so many people to thank for that.  Overall, I’m very proud of what I’ve done, but I’m more proud of who I’ve become.  Looking back over the last four years, it’s absolutely astonishing how much I’ve grown - as a musician, teacher, leader, and person - and that is what I’m most proud of.  From never having marched to drum major; from never having formal saxophone lessons to Performer of the Semester; from shy to clown; from doubt to confidence; from who I was to who I am now, there aren’t words to express it.  All the honors and awards are nice, but I’m most proud of the fact that I’ve become a person I never thought I could be.  That and the relationships I have made with the people I’ve met over the past four years are worth more than any degree I’ll ever get.

Who I am isn’t just a product of me, however.  I honestly wouldn’t be who or where I am today if it were not for the loving support, guidance, and friendship of so many people, and if you’re reading this, I hope you know who you are.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.  I love and appreciate you all more than I’ve ever found a way to express.

For the first time that I can remember, I am truly proud of who I am and who I’ve become.  I’m not perfect, and I still have a lot to work on, but I am proud of how I’ve pushed myself over these last four years and conquered challenge after challenge.  I will continue to push myself and try to be a better person than I was the day before.  I’ll do my best, and that’s all anyone can ever ask of me.  

I’ve got two more years of “college” left, and I’m not stopping now.  Let’s do this!!

“The Spirit” is about to make me a master.  :)

I am truly blessed! 

Three more weeks until I graduate…from college… This does NOT seem real… I am speechless…

I feel like I should get my professors something for all the time and effort and trust they’ve invested in me, but I don’t want to be awkward since I plan on coming back for my Master’s. I just don’t feel genuine if I don’t get them something…so I might get them a gift card to somewhere and a note, but idk. Thoughts on getting professors gifts when you’re coming back after graduating?

This probably means nothing to anyone else, but Sunday when I was at the PCAL Awards Ceremony, I wanted a picture with Dr. Cipolla, whom I put down as my mentor. I asked if I could get a picture with him real quick, and he said, “Absolutely! You’re my buddy!” Simple, but yet it meant the world to me. Day = Made. :)

I simply could not have asked for a better teacher and mentor than Dr. Cipolla. I have been so blessed!!

I love WKU.  I am passionate about WKU. 

To be honest, it’s hard to explain, but I think I’m starting to understand it more.  I love WKU because I’m from Bowling Green and I attend school there, sure, but I think there’s more to it than that. 

I’ve come to realize that I love WKU because I can identify with it.  It’s the “little” school in Kentucky that’s constantly overlooked by bigger schools like UK and UofL.  A “little” school that does big things but is still, for some reason, overshadowed.  It gets no attention, but still keeps it’s passion going forward, pushing for excellence.  A school with a tradition-rich past, but no recognition.  A school that always takes the underdog role and goes at everything with heart, passion, and enthusiasm.  The school shows loyalty and dedication to the community and its alumni, even when the town and surrounding area doesn’t always, choosing other state schools for their loyalties.  ”The Spirit Makes the Master” is not only taught here, but demonstrated throughout the campus.  Overlooked, overshadowed, unappreciated, but still as passionate and successful as ever.

I am a passionate, die-hard, loyal, proud Topper.  Always have been and always will be.  GO TOPS!!

Sometimes I feel like it’s my mission in life to make people smile and laugh and to make them happy for a while, at least when they are with me.  It hurts me to see people hurt and suffer.  All I want when I see my friends cry is to make them smile again and to fix everything.  I know being sad is okay, but there’s enough things to be sad about in this world.  Why not be the smile and the sunshine that brightens up the day a bit?  Why not be the candle in the darkness?  

In my heart, I know that being sad and down is okay, but we can’t stay there.  We must not stay there.  Life is too short to stay there.  I’ve been there (far more often than I’d like to admit) and it’s not fun.  It’s a scary place.  I know what it feels like to hurt, to cry, to feel left out, to be forgotten, to be lonely, to feel like you’ve lost everything, to feel like you don’t matter and no one cares.  I don’t ever want anyone to feel that way.  I can’t control how other people feel, but I can control how I treat them, and I don’t ever want to treat them in a way that makes them feel any of those things because I know what it feels like.  I’ve been there.  

I don’t want you to think that you have to be “fake” to be “happy” either.  Fake happiness is worse than sadness.  Sometimes, being ‘real’ can be a good, wonderful, happy thing.  It all depends on where you choose to get your happiness from.  I know how easy it is to hide behind a smile.  Believe me, I do it all too well.  However, I think I’m learning that honestly dealing with and sharing your feelings brings real smiles.  

Because I want to make people happy, it’s hard for me to share my problems with people because I don’t want to bring them down with my problems and make them sad, too.  I have trouble opening up about things, although I am much better about it than I was.  I really appreciate people I can be sad with.  It’s so comforting.  I hope people feel that they can be sad around me too and find comfort in my presence.  

All in all, I just want to be a person that makes people smile and helps them through their life, whether it’s just being there when they’re down and putting a smile on their face or being there to share both their sorrow and joy.